鲜花( 1394) 鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN : . ` i( H/ t& p/ Z0 a: S" |
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) j1 o7 B* Z; I( KTake off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.6 E3 `5 v; P* I3 u. e' U
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Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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Look at your womanly physique in the mirror --
! B8 [7 U( I) d+ }make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
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Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. 8 c* c0 p; D9 ?& v* s
% C6 G* H9 T3 S4 |' s6 |Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. 7 t s' z) S: J- @6 Q
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Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.7 _3 `7 g) _9 C3 L2 a" I/ P- F6 ~
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Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced.. M% p1 Q6 v- r; F9 N
, P. k' \' t# `; R! xWash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. 8 r0 X' {; o$ U% f7 o
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Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
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Rinse conditioner off hair.% u: e5 _/ U! Y5 [1 j6 U
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Shave armpits and legs.$ `- s/ P0 s8 A2 z2 o- _* P; c* S0 B
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Turn off shower.- `1 D g5 k9 ~: ]3 C6 y U
* Y- ]% v5 p8 U4 \Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.8 W M, N6 n! G2 ?- s: ~
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Spray mold spots with Tilex. % J; t! ~' i3 }/ y3 {
7 r {, r8 `$ H# X* A K$ j5 K7 DGet out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
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* u9 X' V! P- T; _5 M/ ]5 ?( |! \Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
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8 g1 j3 U8 O8 \/ b" TReturn to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. 5 I2 R. P0 _! N1 j f+ ~
: u+ {' l0 ]7 b8 @( j% P+ n! v8 wIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN: ; _; `% k( A, H) y2 z" |& Y; Z6 e: l+ j
8 d. o% Z" n, h) b ^Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. ; g3 m s( Z& ~
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Walk naked to the bathroom.
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1 U. [5 g! V& \2 ]If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound. : U/ {6 g! M6 D* X) d2 C
" {# ~8 o5 U9 }; q9 SLook at your manly physique in the mirror. - D( I. U" K: P
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Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. + {- c" s4 ?3 L7 k( L
: J, X6 g. C! yGet in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits. ) B- ~4 {" G& g- v( H! T( \' ]2 }
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Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. + p Z" r0 H7 P
% N- k9 D& V% u+ U! g( e+ O( hFart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
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' m) s M3 T2 p- H- G8 U6 SSpend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. " Z# J3 W6 o3 e
2 _1 }$ w. G/ A' t2 CWash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
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+ K& r7 |* O& _* d$ O% R8 g* L+ pWash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
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. C( m+ K7 ]. `& ?6 X* [" p: ERinse off and get out of shower. % Y X/ N" {3 o' r. P
2 [! w" H) a) m* c2 [6 ^% ZPartially dry off.2 }! |" [3 @ _6 W0 ]: `6 A6 b
. b/ M3 ^/ ]& I; z3 r$ ?; E, j- f6 GFail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
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Admire wiener size in mirror again.
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& B' C& d5 ]* u7 }6 RLeave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. 5 _; \3 g+ Z) P
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Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again. 2 o# P( k2 c4 O% y& l9 z6 Y
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Throw wet towel on bed. ( ]2 f& L1 b8 h1 C/ k8 w" O. n/ e8 T* P
6 e/ y6 D8 t* _( D$ T& {If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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